Mess

I really need to get motivated and refreshed. I wish I could think the same way as I did when I was twelve, but I can not. I wish I could take away te bad memories amd the bad things I have said and done, but alas I can not do so either. What can a young girl girl that has grown up to fast with so much worry amd fear? In her eyes ist is so hard to forget the past and move on. That is exactly what needs to happen, but it is not as simple as saying it. I myself personally need to be devoted to something. I have been on tumblr for a while and that just makes me forget my troubles and pain. I now learning that those distractions do not take away the pain inside, but builds it up bottled inside me. Sometimes I will vent to a friend, but there is so much trust and worry with that. I used to be so close to God and my selfish desires got in the way. This year has been such a down fall for me. It makes me sad. I must get back up. I can not let myself be torn down by what I think I myself. I need to be totally devoted on God.